5 Steps to Navigating Adversity
Friends,
If you weren't on Tom Ferry's Zoom call this past Thursday, I HIGHLY recommend you carve out 1 hour to watch it this weekend.
One of my big takeaways was this formula:
Confusion causes fear.
Fear (if unchecked) causes panic.
Panic causes paralysis.
Very practically then, in light of the troubled times we’re currently navigating caused by the NAR lawsuit, here are two things we all need to do to fight against that downward mental spiral:
Gain clarity on the changes that are and are not (regardless of what the media says) likely coming. We know we'll likely need to have something signed before showing homes and we'll need to get really clear about the value we offer buyers, and be able to articulate it. What we know is NOT coming is...buyer agents are a thing of the past, we can't charge fees anymore, real estate is changed forever, agents are no longer needed, and every other click-bait headline you've read - pretty much everything the media would suggest. Don’t let confusion reign. Get clear. As you can see below, buyer brokers are not going anywhere…
86% of buyers buy with an agent.
76% of buyers say “When you buy a home, you should definitely have someone who represents your interests during the whole process.
91% of buyers say "It would be very stressful to navigate the home buying process without a real estate agent or broker.”
87% of buyers say “A real estate agent or broker is an essential, trusted advisor for a homebuyer."
Check fear. We all have it. Me included. There is no bravery without fear. We remind our kiddos all the time of this - if there is nothing to fear, then no bravery is required. Fear is a good thing - it keeps us sharp. It expands our capacity for bravery. But when it runs wild and begins to influence our thoughts, behaviors, and relationships negatively, it is not useful anymore. We must contain, master, and hold our fears properly as tools, not masters.
Sounds simple enough, but how do we gain clarity and remain in control while navigating such a heavy and confusing battle?
We all wish there was an easy answer.
As I reflected on some of the most difficult times we've been through over the past half-decade or so, I've noticed a pattern that seems to work well for me when navigating difficult times. Maybe you'll nab something from this that helps you in your journey...
Let's take for instance covid - do you remember?
It wasn't that long ago. Do you remember the feeling of helplessness, fear, anger, and bewilderment when governors across the US basically said, 'you can't do your job anymore - no more showings, no more open houses, no more closings'?
Did you think it was "over"? Did you think "the world will never be the same"? Did you question your path to becoming a successful real estate broker? Did you fall asleep wondering how you were going to sustain your life and your family's well-being?
I did.
And then...
I sat with the darkness. I named the worst-case scenario - let’s face it, covid was a dark time for everyone in one way or another. I had to spend some dark days thinking about the absolute worst-case scenarios. I had to picture it, think it, say it, and sit with it. Skipping this step is a massive mistake because if skipped, fear will run freely and wildly in the mind, body, heart, and soul. Spending time constructing the worst-case scenario helps define, quantify, and evaluate what you're dealing with. Sitting with that for a time is critical so that it's not lurking in the corners, but instead brought intentionally to light. This keeps YOU in control of your fear.
I increased the challenge in my life. For me, it was through an increase in physical challenge. Sounds trite, but increasing my exercise did two things. First, it increased the discomfort in my life, volitionally. I decided to challenge myself in an already challenging environment. Sounds counterintuitive. But it proved to my brain that I'm more powerful than the environment. When trouble comes your way, increase the volume even louder. You'll be surprised by how calming and confidence-inspiring this can be. Second, it helped reduce stress. There's no surprise here, and COVID was definitely very stressful. But the surprise is when you actually do it. Remember, the knowledge of what to do doesn't change anything.
I didn’t travel alone. I got my spouse informed - as much as we like to think we're solo entrepreneurs, and that "we're good" on our own, we're better with people, especially the people closest to us. There's no need to navigate troubling times on your own. Covid was definitely one of those times. In fact, it's proven that you'll know yourself better, understand your limits more deeply, and be happier if you allow others to journey with you. Invite your spouse, significant other, best friend, sister, brother, dad, mom, whoever it is in your life you count dearest into your battles. They can't fight the battles for you, but being seen in the battle as you fight brings a measure of peace in the noise. As the old saying goes, if you want to go fast, go alone, but if you want to go far, go together.
I expanded my knowledge. I studied what we could do better amid covid, what we could do differently, what our market was doing, what the stats suggested, what our competition was doing, what my peers were doing, what we could start doing, what we should stop doing. I wanted to know as much as I could because knowledge fertilizes the ground for freedom. Freedom to make decisions, even if they were the wrong decisions. Freedom to act. Freedom to wander. Freedom to fail. I whiteboarded, brainstormed, read, and journaled. You have to become an expert at how the battle may impact you, your family, and your business. It reduces surprises. It makes unfamiliar waters navigable.
I fed my psyche. I read intentionally - back in Covid, I started reading Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink. I started reading it because I wanted to boost my responsibility over what was seemingly an all-out catastrophe that nobody had any control over. I was searching for control. I needed to think about and act upon that which I could control. What are you reading? Why? Does it call to that which needs to be awakened in you right now for these current struggles? Not a reader? Great, what podcasts are you listening to? Don't like podcasts? Great, what TED talks are you listening to? The point is, how and what are you feeding your mind? Are you training your mind to see opportunity, or demise? Do you see closed doors or open doors? Do you see your world as good, positive, and safe, or dark, negative, and threatening? What you think is what you'll receive.
Fast forward 4ish years, and here we are again with another seemingly "game-changing explosion": the NAR lawsuit.
I find myself once again, naming the worst-case scenario, increasing my exercise, bringing my spouse into the fear, studying and reading intentionally (if you're wondering, this time I chose Resilience...seems like a good pick to "call to that which needs to be awakened" right now, no?)
So, what's your process for navigating difficult times?
Do you let the world toss you around at its whim, or do you activate a familiar roadmap that results in advancement, growth, and hidden opportunity regardless of the actual outcome of the battle?
Do you let others tell you how it's going to be, or do you refuse the headlines, social media, and noise?
Take time today friends.
I invite you to create the step-by-step plan that helps you gain ground in both internal and external battles...or use mine, or maybe a mixture of both.
But whatever you do, rise up - the world needs you to show up, lean in and fight for your own highest good, and the highest good of the people around you - your family, friends, teammates and clients.